By LES HIGH

Let me categorically state that one movie I won’t be seeing this summer is “Snakes on a Plane.”

Here’s the apparent plot for this sure-fire Academy Award winner: Samuel L. Jackson is an FBI agent who is transporting via a commercial airliner a key witness in a court trial. At some point about 30,000 feet above the earth, a hired killer releases pretty much every deadly snake species known to man to permanently silence the witness and everyone on board.

Here’s how Entertainment Weekly summarizes some of the action: two coral snakes crawl into the cockpit and kill both pilots – then things get worse. For one, a 16-foot Burmese python (everybody who thinks a 16-foot-long snake sounds like a big snake, raise your hands) drops from the ceiling and crushes a passenger to death. Then a Boelen’s python crawls up a lady’s dress and chomps down on one of her eyeballs. A couple “making out” in a washroom gets a very nasty surprise.

And that’s just for starters.

One of the movie’s creators said that he sought to combine two of man’s greatest fears – snakes and flying – into one movie. My guess is that the surprise ending includes crash landing the plane into shark-filled waters, but that’s just supposition on my part. If that doesn’t happen in “SoaP I,” there’s always the sequel.

One Hollywood exec tells EW that “Snakes on a Plane” is easily one of the best movie titles ever. Samuel L. Jackson agrees.

Jackson told EW that he was drawn to the movie in large part because of its title. Jackson said he enjoys making the occasional movie where he doesn’t have to stretch his acting abilities. Sounds like he’s found the perfect movie.

Jackson was furious when he first arrived on the set and learned that execs had changed the name of the movie to “Pacifica Air 121,” presumably to give the movie “more class” because the studio was having trouble finding quality actors for a movie called “Snakes on a Plane.”

Jackson raised such a fuss that the producers stuck with “Snakes,” and as a result, the pre-release chatter on the Internet has been called a cultural phenomenon of sorts, to the extent that the producers have incorporated some of the ideas generated on the Internet into the movie. Much of the action in this $30-million project is apparently computer-generated or features facsimiles of snakes.

Interestingly, even though Jackson liked the title, he hates snakes. His contract stated, “No snakes within 25 feet of Mr. Jackson.”

I’m with him on that one.

“Snakes” doesn’t open until Aug. 18, but if you can’t wait to get the daylights scared out of you before summer ends, the Discovery Channel’s “Shark Week” runs through tomorrow.

•••

I couldn’t let the opportunity pass without mentioning that Aug. 1 was the 25th anniversary of MTV.

I was a sophomore in college when MTV changed pop culture and music forever. Where the previous generation of college guys sat around and played cards to kill time and chat, we sat around the “tube room” and watched MTV until the wee hours of the morning.

For better or worse, the early years of MTV gave us many unforgettable pop stars. In many cases, these video stars were, at best, moderately talented musicians, but all were natural-born performers.

These included Michael Jackson (who can forget the first time they saw “Billie Jean?”), Madonna (“Like A Virgin” would be considered tame stuff now), and Billy Idol (loved the sneer).

And what red-blooded American boy didn’t have a crush on VJ Martha Quinn?

Later came the onslaught of the big-hair bands like Poison and Cinderella (talk about moderate talent), and the no-talent Milli Vanilli.

In its heyday, however, MTV sparked music and pop revolutions. “120 Minutes,” which aired at midnight, was the place to see and hear music that couldn’t be found on the radio. Then there was early rap music, which was edgy and socially relevant before it morphed into the gangster-posing junk that it is today. Punk music, by early bands like the Ramones, the Clash and the Dead Kennedys, wasn’t as sinister as some made it to be. In the early 80s, if you could play three chords on a guitar, you could be in your very own punk band. Punk was fun and it was easy to dance to. It was as simple as that.

Then came great bands like U2 and REM –led by gifted musicians and songwriters who defined early alternative music in the post-disco years.

And what about the first time “Smells like Teen Spirit,” by Nirvana aired on MTV? I remember the exact moment -– sitting on the sofa – feeling stunned; one of those times when you realize you’ve witnessed a defining moment in music. Maybe it was like that for earlier generations when they heard Elvis, Sam Cooke or Sinatra for the first time.

I guess it’s a sure sign of old age when you block MTV on your television so your children can’t see it. MTV is now nothing more than one big teen-age soap opera. “Trashy” is one word that comes to mind.

But let’s end this on a positive note. MTV – for your early years when you actually played music – thanks for the memories.

To paraphrase Simon and Garfunkel, “Where have you gone, Martha Quinn?”